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CITIZINE REVIEWS By Mark Prindle
So what about punk rock? Well, being two decades younger than good old-fashioned boogie woogie rock and roll, yesteryear’s hardcore stars are now in their 40’s -- not OLD in terms of life expectancy, but definitely a bit long in the whisker for guys playing slamdance screaming aggressive teenage 400 million miles an hour speed rock. And what’s cool is that the Circle Jerks acknowledge this discrepancy and address it both in the live show and bonus footage found on this DVD. They give tips for how to play punk rock at 42 (one of which is “take lots of naps”), deliver history lessons on stage, make fun of their bald spots, and do all kinds of other things that make it clear that they intend to “grow old honestly,” rather than pretend that laugh lines and crows’ feet can be hidden by plastic surgery and hip sunglasses. Kung Fu has a nasty habit of releasing DVDs by the worst new bands of all time (Guttermouth, Goldfinger, Zebrahead) so it’s always a special good day when they unleash a concert by a wizened group of punk legends with tons of unforgettable material in their back catalog. “Shot on multiple Panasonic DVX 100 cameras, with 24 track digital audio with 5.1 Surround Sound, this episode of “The Show Must Go Off!” makes it” -- hang on, the rest of the paragraph is marketing hype. Ah! Here we go -- “Don’t forget to check out the bonus features like the band commentary from Keith Morris and Zander Schloss, photo gallery, Japanese subtitles between songs, extra backstage footage and much more.” I did just this, and let me tell you what I saw and heard there! I heard two songs each from Wonderful and Oddities, Etc., three from VI (their cleverly entitled fifth album), four each from Golden Shower Of Hits and Wild In The Streets, and a whop-stop-bobbing TEN tracks from their classic debut Group Sex. There are also covers of the Weirdos’ “Solitary Confinement” and Black Flag’s “Nervous Breakdown” (which was originally sung by Keith Morris before he left that band to form Circle Jerks). Some of the tracks seem a little slower than the original versions, and a band can only suffer by no longer having Lucky Lehrer drumming for it (granted, he was only on their first two albums, but MY GOD what an amazing drummer!), but otherwise, it’s all well-played and well respected, man, by Kinky Keith, Zoophile Zander, Bad Religion’s Greg Hetson, and new drummer Drums McDrummersalot (Kevin Fitzgerald). Bottom line is this: a 2005 Circle Jerks concert is obviously not going to feature the incredible, ludicrous energy that you’d find on a video of the band’s early ‘80s performances (Diabetes sufferer Keith Morris even acknowledges this in the commentary, sadly noting how much he hates clubs with barrier walls between the stage and the audience because it prevents fans from jumping on stage and adding to the chaos). However, these songs have lost none of their catchiness over the years and it’s neat to see how the band members sound, think and look (Zander looks like a homeless hippy! His sideburns are HUGE!) in these early ‘00s. So keep on drumming, Drums McDrummersalot!
Government Issue was one of the first Washington D.C. hardcore bands. Led by John “Stabb” Schroeder, they went through 35 vagillion line-up changes while bringing first metal and then pop and other influences into their guitar-heavy sound. Okay, that’s enough background. On to the review. This 50-minute disc includes two G.I. shows from
the Summer of 1985 when their third and arguably finest album (the
punk-metal-emo The Fun Just Never In newly-penned liner notes, singer John “Stabb” Schroeder (nicknamed “Stabb” because he likes to stab people and he’s illiterate) explains that he was more comfortable at the smaller show, but you wouldn’t know it by his antics! Small club or large world paradise, Mr. Weird Face is up there playing with his shirt, headbanging around the stage, swinging on pipes, imitating Simon Le Bon, and jerking his body around like a hyperactive child with a dog bite in a kepone factory. Seeing him in action, it’s a lot easier to understand why they didn’t throw his founding member ass out of the band earlier for the weak, lackadaisical vocals he contributed on the first few albums. Plus, he’s wearing funny pants! Good old funny pants. Speaking of clothes that prevent girls from having sex with you, what on earth was the skinny bassist thinking when he prepared for his big gigantic Fleetwood Mac-style auditorium show by putting on a pair of stupid eyeglasses and short shorts? Chicks don’t dig eyeglasses! Hell, optometrists don’t even dig eyeglasses, and they BUILD them! More importantly however is the music. And musically speaking, Tom Lyle looks pretty damn cool in his black leather jacket. Unfortunately, every song at the first show is repeated in the second show (though admittedly they play the SLOW version of “Hall Of Fame” at one show and the fast version at the other), so you might be tempted to skip the first show entirely. But DON’T! This band’s songs were so great, you shouldn’t miss a moment! Especially since both shows start with “Blending In,” an awesome, unforgettable punk riff as basic, instinctive and majestic as “Blitzkrieg Bop.” Other must-hear pop-punk-metal blasters include “Mad At Myself,” “Notch To My Crotch,” “Please Understand” (which I’ve taken to singing as “Nice Pair of Pants”), and a sneak preview of what would become one of the few fast songs on the band’s self-titled 1986 album, “Hear The Scream.” Yes, Government Issue. They may not have had any hit singles on your big radio stations and MTV, but if you’re looking for high-energy, well-written punk music with hard rock, metal and pop influences, this DVD belongs on your turntable!
Add to that the visual appeal of ever-smiling, speedy-hitting drummer DJ Bonebrake, the awesome blonde semi-pompadour, sparkling silver guitar, and hearty TV-ready smile of guitarist Billy Zoom, and the (then) romantically involved vocal section of Exene “Dumpy, Can’t Sing” Cervenka, and John “Brilliant, Heart of America” Doe, and you’ve got one heck of a band that should have been hugely successful. But they weren’t, and they kinda fiddle-farted around with replacement guitarists for years and now they’re playing reunion concerts like clockfire! So here we are with this DVD, showcasing X’s original line-up performing a bundle of old classics on November 26 & 27, 2004 -- nearly 25 years after Decline made them world-famous among punksters (if they weren’t already). And they look and sound EXACTLY THE SAME!!! I’m not just trying to be Mr. Polite -- obviously, like ANY human beings, their faces have developed some age wrinkles over the last two and a half decades. But, aside from the now-short-and-gray-haired Mr. Bonebrake, I honestly don’t think I’ve EVER seen a band look so much like their original selves -- do they eat nothing but wheat germ or something? John Doe is dressed hipster to the nines in a black shirt, blue tie, denim jeans and has an awesome hairstyle that keeps flapping down into his face like a young person. Exene is still wearing little girl goth clothes, coloring her hair, and singing as far out of tune as a person born with no ears. And Billy Zoom has the same hairstyle, same sparkly silver guitar, and same never-frowning set of choppers (teeth, not motorcycles, presumably) as on that lonesome day way back in ‘79 when Penelope Thingamajig said, “Won’t you be in my movie, hey?” To be fair, Billy “The Zoom” Zoom does look older and wiser during the interview portions of the disc, but that’s because he’s wearing glasses, which automatically add ten years and twenty grams of nerdiness to your face. And the music! Crikes! This band wrote so many great punk-speed rock and roll songs! Here you’ll find seven each from Los Angeles and Wild Gift (or alternately, fourteen from the Los Angeles/Wild Gift CD), four from Under The Big Black Sun, three from More Fun In The New World and a John/Exene acoustic rendition of “See How We Are.” Actually they perform an acoustic rendition of “True Love” as well, but the full band plays that in the live show too, and there are only so many times you can listen to Exene singing the opening lines from four or five notes away. It’s not huge on bonus material -- a few short interview segments are tossed in and the two acoustic duets are a relaxing diversion, but “Billy Zoom’s Photo Gallery” (consisting of audience shots taken by the silly guitarist from on-stage) are of interest only to folks who think they might be in one of the shots. However, who needs boners when great songs out the ass are all playing at you one after the other? And what a spirited performance considering John and Exene divorced years ago, John doesn’t like punk rock at all anymore, and Billy Zoom considers these reunion shows to be essentially just a job! I give it a hearty high endorsement and so would any fan of good music, although I’m infuriated at John Doe for not singing the goosebumpingly emotional chorus to “The World’s A Mess, It’s In My Kiss” correctly. If that had happened with ME in the audience, I would have thrown a brick at him.
Like Chuck Negron, Iggy Pop should be dead. Maybe he never had to live in an orphanage or battle Cory Wells and Danny Hutton for the chance to release “One” as a single, but he should still be dead, even though his dick never exploded, and he didn’t pass out and smash his face through a glass table. But Iggy Pop, like Chuck Negron, whose suicide was only prevented by a weak pipe breaking, and who was tormented as a child for being a bedwetter, is a survivor. Yes, this former leader of The Stooges is well aware that, like Chuck Negron, who grew up without a father and slept with Terry Kath’s girlfriend, he should be dead. But Godd had other plans! This DVD, a popular new video medium that many youth refer to as the “Digital Video Disc,” is nothing more, less, or equal to, a digital transfer of a Target Video videocassette of Iggy Pop and his band performing live in San Francisco on the Party tour of 1981. Not the best album in his catalog perhaps, but when are you ever again going to get the chance to hear novelty crap like “Eggs On Plate” and “Houston Is Hot Tonight” live on-stage? Historically speaking, this disc reeks of drug- and sex-mauled decadence of the yuckiest kind (in a good way! Like “Yucky! This rules! I can taste the vomit rising in the back of my throat!”). Iggy is MISSING A FRONT TOOTH (!!!) and performs the entire show in a miniskirt, stockings and garters. His band is no more sensical, with one guy wearing an ape mask or something half the time, and the others dressed in gaudy late-’70s fashions as Clem “Elvis Ramone” Burke speed-dials the amphetamine drums in the background. Quite a sight to see! And three lead guitarists for you and me! Iggy’s quivering vocal delivery belies a still-lingering love for David “Pretentiousness = Art” Bowie, but his act and persona are just so bizarre to watch -- over the course of one hour, he goes from jumping and dancing maniacally all over the place to standing dead still in front of the microphone, fighting off the chills, and glaring like a sick old man defiantly trying to stay awake. And he only has like half of the grossass face wrinkles he has now! All thanks to Oil Of Olay! (and being 24 years younger) For the bean-counters out there, let me stress you up that the DVD contains the following number of songs from the following albums: (1) The Stooges The only sad thing is that this was filmed too early in his career for him to perform “(Candy Candy) Candy (I Can’t Let You Go)” or “(Home Boy) Home (Boy, Everybody Needs A Home)” because those songs would have made this disc a terrific gift for all the people with the worst musical taste in the world. Otherwise, buy it, watch it, and write about it in your diary! ---- Reader Comments No Comments. |
-- ELSEWHERE ON CITIZINE -- Steven
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