DVD REVIEWS
Boston Beatdown Vol. II:
Through Two Viewers’ Eyes

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“This is Boston. Don’t piss us off!”

by Thom White

This DVD tells the story of FSU Boston, a gang of tough guys who also happen to be hardcore. You’d think FSU stood for “fuck shit up,” but you’d get kicked in the head and have some teeth knocked out for thinking that because it really stands for “Friends Stand United.”

Since the mid-’80s, FSU Boston has cleansed the scene of Nazis and uncool bouncers and made the world safe for the true hardcore kids to kick, sucker punch, elbow, and generally flail their bodies uncontrollably in order to inflict maximum damage on anything in reach.

Between hardcore sets by Wrecking Crew, Blood for Blood, and Ramallah, there’s plenty of kicking and punching for even the most casual enthusiast of pointless violence. Please don’t try this at home unless you truly know what it means to be hardcore.

Scourge of the East!

by Tom Sequenzia

Throughout the entire “documentary” Boston Beatdown: Volume II, the viewer is confronted with assault upon assault, made all the more lovely with a potent mix of hardcore metal/thrasher noise accompanying each melee of violence. Interviews with all of the key players are splashed throughout as a way of adding some sort of artistic value to the whole thing, but not a one of ‘em has anything remotely interesting or entertaining to say.

I may not be speaking with a sane voice here, but the purity of the whole “beat the piss out of whoever ain’t like us” way of life is lost on this writer. There does not appear to be one notable theme or value to take away from this piece of work except maybe, “Hey kids, it’s kind of stupid to hit each other in the head a lot for no apparent reason other than to see what gray matter looks like.” In the end, the underlying message of this film is mainly to explain why you shouldn’t eat rat poison.

All the same, after viewing Beatdown, one is reminded of how beautiful a thing education can be. For, as paltry as mine was, it surely surpasses whatever schooling the street thugs in this film might have had banged over their heads. I do appreciate the film giving me a reassuring sense of confidence knowing that I am at least not of the absolute lowest echelon of American intelligence.

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