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CITIZINE REVIEWS By Mark
Prindle Dee Dee Ramone Eleven years ago, Dee Dee Ramone agreed to a sit-down conversation with director Lech Kowalski for a film about Johnny Thunders. I wasn’t there but sources, some of them accurate, make this case so I see no point in belaboring the issue any more than I already have (and I do apologize for the subpoenas, Mr. Cheney). The result is now available for your tender viewing! The film is a full hour of Dee Dee chit-chatting about Johnny Thunders, the old punk days, rampant heroin use, tattoos, and hilarious incidents with his fellow Ramones. The most striking thing about the footage is how goshdarned charismatic he was. I mean, it’s not like the market has EVER been flooded with Dee Dee Ramone video footage (he refused to be interviewed for Lifestyles of the Ramones and is only featured in a few scenes of We’re Outta Here! and Around The World With The Ramones), so I’ve always had this image of him as an arrogant strutting sort of burnout. And maybe at times, he WAS that way (rumor has it he had bipolar disorder or somesuch), but in this particular video, he presents himself as an adorable, witty, down-to-earth, innocent and unself-conscious ChildMan. When the video ends, you just want to go hang out with him some more! But he’s dead, so don’t try to do that. The
Cramps If you consider human wreckage an interesting anthropological find, this DVD is a purchase already made by your soul -- won't you allow your wallet to catch up? As its title suggests, this is footage of the young 1978 Cramps playing rudimentary rockabilly up on stage in front of a group of INSANE people. Will anybody ever fall in love with the chubby young man in the suit who gets onstage and sings into his empty hand as if he is holding a microphone? Will any girl ever hold hands with the skinny weirdo jerking his body spasmodically before biting into his own arm? Will the world share a Sunday with the two lobotomized punk rock girls who keep grabbing Lux's mic and shouting close to nothing into it? Probably not, because even though Lux politely insists, “Somebody told me you people were crazy. But I don't think so! You look alright to me!,” this crowd is clearly not doing very well with certain important organs found in the skull. The vacant stares and unnatural body movements -- it's creepy! Why on Earth did a mental hospital agree to let The Cramps play for its patients? Was the president of the hospital alerted that Lux was going to rip his shirt off and suck on the mic as if it were a male sexual organ? Was he told that Lux likes to unzip his pants and stroll through the audience? And did anyone warn him that the band wasn't any good at all? Just a-kiddin' you! Heh heh, ah me. True, this 20-minute performance sounds like a repetitive boring mess, but who's watching it for the music anyway? I'm in it for the adorable young visual Cramps and their horribly out-of-it audience. But there's MORE! Target and MVD made the DVD both longer and more exciting by including bonus footage of other great punker acts of the day, including Crucifix, Flipper (man, Bruce Lose was skinny!), Mark Pauline & Survival Research Labs, Toxic Reasons, MDC (Christ, Dave Dictor was ugly!), Throbbing Gristle, Crime (live at San Quentin in front of hundreds of confused-looking prisoners!) and maybe a little TOO much Z'EV (this “industrial” fellow who strung together pots, pans, boards, tubs, metal, etc., and then smashed them together rhythmically. Over and over and over and over and over.). For several different reasons (none of which I will discuss here), this is a disc you really ought to buy. Don't ask me why there's nearly as much Z'EV footage as there is Cramps, but trust me when I tell you, you'll be showing this thing to your friends constantly. Which will be a nice break from that thing you usually show them constantly. Oh, don't start crying. Of course I'm proud of your removable ball. U.K. Subs Back in 1979, filmmaker Julien Temple hit a home run out of the ballpark of society with this tiny, hilarious “wartime documentary” of the punk rock movement, driven by onstage footage of the young U.K. Subs. Even youngsters unfamiliar with catchy U.K. Subs punker classics like “Stranglehold,” “C.I.D.” and “Live In A Car” will laugh their eyeballs silly at the between-song skits tracing the history of the punk war: Temple hits a home run out of the ballpark of humor with scenes ranging from (1) a public service announcement explaining how to convert your school uniform into a punk uniform to (2) various battle footage showing spit as the punk movement’s prime weapon to (1) an uproarious scene of colored-hair ruffians destroying a statue of the traitor Johnny Rotten. Even my wife was laughing, and she doesn’t have a mouth! So if you’re looking to hit a home run out of the ballpark of your DVD player, swing hard because “Punk Can Take It!” The
Undertones If you spent your whole life dreaming that U2 is
the only great band to have ever come out of Ireland, now is the
time to think once more about the People's Republic of Ireland!
In fact, everything is further from the truth. This 65-minute movie is comprised of a series of
recent interviews with the band members and ex-members (they originally
broke up in 1983, but 4 of the 5 have reunited with a new singer),
intercut with comments from important figures in their history (e.g.
famed DJ John Peel, Sire Records' Seymour Stein) and lots of footage
from promo clips and television appearances. It's In fact, I intended to review it after watching
only half of it, but the motherducking thing lured me in and trapped
me! I HAD to know how audiences reacted to their shift over to soul
music! I HAD to know why Feargal Sharkey DVD extras include bonus interviews, exclusive live
footage and seven old-timey promo videos in their entirety. If you
like Dead Kennedys' guitarist East Bay Ray, take his word for it:
"The Undertones are one of my Adolescents The 1981 self-titled Adolescents debut is an absolute California punk rock classic up there with the Descendents’ “Milo Goes To College” and Bad Religion’s “How Could Hell Be Any Worse?”. The stuffed-nose childish vocals, teen angst lyrics, speedy drumbeats, melodic chord sequences and smart, emotional lead guitar parts give it an instantly exciting and memorable feel that you (I) just want to listen to over and over again. I didn’t discover it until I heard about five billion other punk albums, and the songs STILL stood out enough for it to become one of my favorites. Unfortunately, the band couldn’t stick together. Lead guitar rock hero Rikk Agnew left first, leaving the band a bit impotent for the sluggish “Welcome To Reality” EP. Then the whole shebang fell apart, with drummer Casey Royer forming D.I. (with Rikk Agnew!). Four years later, Rikk decided to reform the Adolescents -- or at least as much of it as he could. He convinced singer Tony and bassist Steve Soto to join him for “Brats In Battalions,” and then they fell apart AGAIN!!! By the time of 1988’s “Balboa Fun Zone,” Tony was gone, rhythm guitarist Frank Agnew was back, and Rikk himself was singing lead! After that, your guess is as good as mine. Rikk made a few solo albums, Steve joined 22 Jacks and eventually somebody-or-other joined Tony in The Adz. Then they left and Tony continued making albums under the name The Adz. Thus, one of the best punk rock bands in the world left behind a legacy of ONE great album. But now they’re BACK! (Or at least they were back when they recorded this DVD/CD combo; I’m told that Rikk has once again left the band.) This live performance essentially ignores most of the band’s spotted career of line-up changes, blaring through 11 of the 12 classics from the debut (skipping only “I Hate Children”), along with two songs that had originally appeared on both “Welcome To Reality” and “Brats In Battalions,” a third “Brats” track (goofy throwaway “Do The Freddy”) and possibly most excitingly of all ---- FIVE NEW SONGS! Five CATCHY new songs that, according to the DVD commentary track, will appear on an upcoming Adolescents studio album entitled “O.C. Confidential.” But let’s discuss the DVD itself. It’s great. It’s a great, great, great DVD for one key reason -- the creators of the disc included not only this live show from 2003, but a scratchy black-and-white video tape of the ORIGINAL Adolescents playing a live show in 1982! Being a glutton for rewardery, I began my DVD adventure with the early video. There they were -- bushy-haired Rikk Agnew doing arrogant cock rock moves like a young Joe Perry, Tony looking like a skinny drugged-up retard who can’t keep his body from shaking up and down, Steve being a large young man, Frank staying in one spot in the back with his cool “drooping down into my eye” skater hairstyle and Casey handling all the stage patter from behind the drums (including a sarcastic dedication to John Belushi, who apparently had died this very same day). So I watched, I enjoyed, I thought, “Wow! They really WERE adolescents! Look at those skinny little kids (and Steve) playing that great punk rock music!” Then it was time to watch the 2003 show. First things first, the band has become a bunch of lardasses. It’s not surprising that Steve got a little bigger; he at least looks much cleaner and more mature than he used to. But, as Frank points out several times during the commentary, Tony quite literally looks pregnant -- and Rikk Agnew seems to have eaten an entire elephant at some point during the previous two decades. He has become a huge, sweaty, fat PIG of a kickass guitar god rocker! The whole thing would have made me feel really horrible about the perils of age if not for the svelte form of Frank Agnew in the background with his spikey bleached young person hairstyle and polka-diamond-dotted shirt. Casey Royer has been replaced, for reasons unknown to me. So that’s all I have to say. Tony’s voice is no longer charmingly stuffed-nose at all, but then it had sort of already become a gravelly hard rock shout even by the time of “Brats In Batallions.” The songs are still awesome. Awesome! I can’t wait to hear the new CD, though I wouldn’t be surprised if it never comes out.
The advent of home video recording equipment was a special occasion indeed, allowing amazing, high-energy rock bands to film their intense, exciting live shows in a medium that rendered them shitty, monophonic and depressing. The legendary DC hardcore pioneers Minor Threat, having broken up as paupers in 1983, obviously don’t have an enormous backlog of MTV-ready footage to release on DVD. Thus, the best they could do (which is probably enough for most fans, but not for a discerning, snide critical little shit like Markert Prindgau) is share three poor-quality live shows and a 21-year-old Ian making faces and answering boring interview questions. No flashy graphics, no quirky behind-the-scenes hilarity, just barebones playing. I mean literally barebones; the band members showed up to these gigs without skin. That’s how “straight edge” they were. To be more precise, the three shows include the second ever Minor Threat show -- only Ian MacKaye’s second time singing in front of an audience! And he clearly has no idea what to do with himself! The two remaining shows include a 1982 New Jersey show featuring a short-lived five-piece line-up, an African-American crackhead woman who keeps interrupting the rock music to announce her birthday, and more shaved heads than a bowling ball. Look, we can’t all afford to spend $39.95 a month on a subscription to www.similesthatmakeanysenseatall.com. The final remaining show includes a show recorded just a couple months before the band broke up. Who fucking cares? This band’s songs are as melodic, anthemic and exciting as any punk rock ever recorded, but all three of these shows are muddy and fudged up, and it’s not like they have any pyrotechnics or fancy stage costumes. Watching Ian MacKaye on stage is like watching school in summer -- NO CLASS. Heh heheh h ohhh yeah, that waaaaaaaaaaas Swwwwwwwwwwwweet! Let me try another one. Watching Jeff Nelson’s drums is like watching Russell Crowe’s girlfriend: THEY BOTH GET A FAST, HARD POUNDING THAT ENDS IN ABOUT FIFTEEN SECONDS. Man, I’m totally sending these in to Playboy’s 40-Year-Old Party Jokes That Aren’t Funny At All! ---- Reader Comments No Comments. |
-- ELSEWHERE ON CITIZINE --
The New Bomb Turks' Eric Davidson Interview
with The Ramones' Tom Erdelyi At
The Smell:
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