FROM BRAVO & McFADDEN
Iraqnophobia?

by Alex Bravo

LOS ANGELES -- April 2, 2003 -- In light of the Coalition of the Willing's (COW) employment of dolphins for Operation Iraqi Freedom, I can't help but think aloud, "What does PETA think of all this?"

They can't possibly think it's a good idea to have dolphins sniffing out underwater mines along the Persian Gulf, right? And complicating matters is the fact that our star dolphin has gone AWOL. All this after his handler bragged about how luxurious it must be for this lucky dolphin, hand-picked by some US military expert.

Even worse, what if the dolphin is in fact dead after a fatal meeting with one of those very lethal mines he was trained to detect? If these war-mongering Americans are now recklessly murdering dolphins, what's next? FBI agents coming to a town near you and shooting a ring-tailed lemur at the local zoo? How many dolphins have to die to justify this attack on Iraq?

While our diplomatic ties plummet faster than a dolphin carcass falling to the ocean floor, we continue to bomb the shi'ite* out of Iraq in our perpetual War on Terrorism.

I'm still waiting to see this link between Al-Qaeda and Saddam Hussein. Not to say that Saddam isn't a bad man; he's a horrible, loathsome man who should be taken out on all accounts. What I have a problem with is all the LIES that come with this war. Team Bush and Rupert Murdoch's media empire (Fox News, Weekly Standard, New York Post) lied us into this war, why would they stop once the "game" has begun?

I'm beginning to feel ill, the juices of malfeasance churning in my stomach. It is this deep-rooted resentment I have for our duplicitous government brewing inside of me.

It's not that bad, not as if my government has dropped any uranium-dipped bombs on my soil or anything. All my limbs are in tact, and I don't have any hideous deformities to worry about. But that's because I live in the USA, and the USA can't drop uranium on its own people. Oh, wait a minute, we already have used biological and chemical weapons (of mass destruction), back in Vietnam, Gulf War I, and now in Gulf War II - Bushie's Back. And on our own troops even; can you imagine?

Why do we bother tallying up war crimes, and lassoing up war criminals? Isn't the crime the war itself?

At the First International Military Tribunal in 1946, an American judge condemned Nazi leadership for its "instigation of an aggressive war." You see, Germany waged "pre-emptive war" on its weak neighbor Poland in September 1939, because, according to the elected leader of the War Party of the time, Germans were being "persecuted with bloody terror and driven from their houses."

The televised "Show Trials" coming our way, where heretofore unknown Iraqis ("Saddam's Henchmen") will be (surprise!) convicted of war crimes, can be nothing other than a miserable farce. Where else can you witness a "justice system" where prosecutor and true "war criminal" are the same American president?

Here's another thing that kills me. Evidently, if you are against this war, that means you're NOT a patriot. You are NOT with us, and therefore, you are against us, and thusly a terrorist. I hope that, to at least some Americans, this is complete and utter horseshit.

An ironic part of the package deal that the anti-war stance supposedly entails, is that you are also not supporting our troops who are risking their lives for our freedom. But aren't I, the one who wants these brave troops to be safe in their homes, presumably in the United States, the more considerate and supportive of their safety and well-being? These poor soldiers are dying because of the greed and arrogance of a generation before them. Many are losing their lives for a fight they know little about.

This war with Iraq has made the terrorist's bull's eye exponentially larger. Muslims of all walks of life have now made the pilgrimage to Iraq to sacrifice their lives in disdain and complete hatred of America. The reputation of America, on a whole, has endured a beating lately with our foreign affairs ostracizing us as a nation. We have great reason to fear, my fellow Americans.

* shi'ite courtesy of Lu Delecti

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